THE SIN TIMES™ SPORTS DESK: MAJOR PENALTY for XADEN DEVLIN

Elle | Queen Of Smut

Sep 13

3 min read

THE SIN TIMES™

Serving scandal, spice & questionable men before breakfast.

MAJOR PENALTY FOR XADEN DEVLIN FOR BEING A FUCKING IDIOT

By The Queen Of Smut™ | Reporting live from the Library Of Sin™⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ | 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ | 🌡️💥

BREAKING: In an unprecedented ruling from the Library Of Sin™ Department of Questionable Men, hockey player Xaden Devlin has been assessed a major penalty for excessive possession, reckless use of audacity, unnecessary emotional roughness, and one particularly egregious case of REFUSING TO LOOK AT THE FUCKING EVIDENCE DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HIM.

Officials are reportedly baffled.

The Queen is fucking furious.

And the rage thermostat has been pronounced dead at the scene.

🏒 FIRST PERIOD: OH, THIS SHOULD BE FUN

Things started normally enough.

There was hockey.

There was tension.

There was obsession.

There was a morally questionable man displaying exactly the kind of behavior that usually earns immediate admission into the Library Of Sin™ Hall of Questionable Decisions.

The Queen settled comfortably into her seat.

"Ohhh, I like this."

This statement would later be entered into evidence as Exhibit A: Things Said Before Disaster.

Grayscale woman in glasses and cap poses by stacked books in a dark library; pink text reads Xaden Devlin, Benched For Excessive Fuckery, @REALQUEENOFSMUT

🚨 SECOND PERIOD: XADEN, GET IN THE FUCKING PENALTY BOX

Then Xaden Devlin made a decision.

Actually, that's being generous.

Xaden Devlin apparently looked at the information available to him, picked the version he liked best, married it, bought it a house, added it to his health insurance, and refused to consider any alternative.

There.

Was.

PHYSICAL.

FUCKING.

PROOF.

The Queen attempted several interventions from outside the Kindle.

They included:

"XADEN."

"Sir."

"SIR?!"

And eventually:

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!"

None were successful.

At approximately Fuck-This-Shit O'Clock, play was officially suspended.

The Queen put the book down.

For.

An.

Entire.

Day.

Sources close to the situation confirm this is an almost unheard-of disciplinary action.

🏒 THIRD PERIOD: FUCK. SHE WENT BACK.

Twenty-four hours later, play resumed.

The Queen returned to Puck Around and Find Out with one objective:

Finish the book and formally prosecute Xaden Devlin for crimes against her blood pressure.

There was only one problem.

The motherfucker started making things... complicated.

Suddenly the prosecution's airtight case had questions.

There were circumstances.

There were feelings.

There were revelations.

And there was the increasingly uncomfortable realization that Xaden Devlin might not fit neatly into the little FUCK THIS MAN box the Queen had lovingly prepared for him.

By the final buzzer, witnesses described the Queen sitting silently with her Kindle, staring into the distance.

Her official statement:

"Well... fuck."

https://video.wixstatic.com/video/33422a_057b0d2f8c024c19a80a7b937545a2b6/720p/mp4/file.mp4

📊 FINAL SCORECARD

Puck Around and Find Out: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Spice: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

Obsession: dangerously high

Possessiveness: Xaden Devlin

Audacity: Xaden Fucking Devlin

Queen's Blood Pressure: we don't discuss her medical records

Times the Queen wanted to fight Xaden: statistically significant

Number of reading days Xaden personally cost her: 1

Number of stars Samantha Barrett lost because of it: 0

And THAT might be the most offensive statistic of the evening.

Because despite the rage...

Despite the 24-hour suspension...

Despite wanting to reach through the pages and staple Exhibit A through fucking Z to this man's forehead...

Puck Around and Find Out still earned five fucking stars.

Why?

Because indifference is the death of a book.

Rage isn't.

If a fictional man can make me put his book down, spend the next day STILL THINKING ABOUT HIM, make me come crawling back, and leave me staring at the final page questioning the entire case I had built against him?

You did your fucking job.